Please Murder Me (1956)

Please Murder Me is surprisingly good, especially considering its very low production values. I wondered how noir it could be: such a polite request in its title, even if it does involve murder! The stars, Raymond Burr (as Craig Carlson) and Angela Lansbury (as Myra Leeds) give a couple of great performances. It’s worth it to see both of them. Lansbury is once again playing the femme fatale. She did the same in A Life at Stake, which is the last film that I wrote about and a noir Lansbury had starred in just the year prior, in 1955.

(This article about Please Murder Me contains spoilers.)

Burr usually plays the criminal in film noir, but not in Please Murder Me. This time, he is the defense lawyer, and his acting throughout—and especially in the bare-bones courtroom (which is probably closer to the reality of many cash-strapped judicial jurisdictions)—still reminded me of his future role in the long-running television series Perry Mason. His character Craig Carlson eventually turns the tables on Myra Leeds, the femme fatale who has been outwitting men for their money until Carlson learns of her schemes.

Please Murder Me is in the public domain. Click here to watch it at the Internet Archive.

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The film starts with Craig Carlson walking at night through what seems to be a rather seedy part of town, with all-night bars, pawnshops, and strip clubs. He stops to buy a handgun, then gets into a cab. He loads the handgun in the cab while the opening credits roll. The cab drops Carlson outside his office building. He enters his office, sits behind his desk, and starts to record his story on a tape machine (Carlson and his office are the low-rent versions of Walter Neff and his insurance office in Double Indemnity). Carlson addresses his story to Ray Willis, district attorney, and he states that he will be dead, murdered, in fifty-five minutes.

Carlson’s story starts in World War II, during the Iwo Jima campaign. He was a captain in the Marine Corps, and his top sergeant was Joe Leeds. They became great friends after Leeds saved Carlson’s life in battle. This backstory helps to explain the close bond between Craig and Lou.

The film now introduces an extended flashback, which begins with Craig admitting to Joe Leeds that he is in love with his wife, Myra. The story switches to Joe Leeds’s point of view, which is a bit disorienting because Carlson is still telling his story into the tape machine. After Joe Leeds hears Craig Carlson’s news, he returns to his own office. His business manager and friend, Lou Kazarian, can see that something is wrong and asks Joe about it. Joe doesn’t want to talk much about it. He asks Lou to mail something for him, then calls Myra to say that he will be home early. When he does arrive home, he finds Myra in their bedroom. He closes the door on the camera, and viewers hear a gunshot.

When the police arrive on the scene, Craig Carlson is already there. Myra called him first, and he was the one to call the police. Myra claims she shot her husband in self-defense. Carlson believes her. One of the law officers on the investigation, Detective Lieutenant Bradley, doesn’t. It becomes clear, in fact, that both the police and the district attorney do not believe anything about Myra’s story and that she did murder her husband.

Myra Leeds goes on trial for murder in the first degree. These courtroom scenes are perhaps the weakest parts of the film. The details revealed are necessary to the story, but the pace is tedious, and there aren’t many dramatic moments, even though Carlson is good at making his points and introducing enough doubt about the evidence. He is eventually able to convince the jury that Myra didn’t kill her husband by revealing that she was in love with another man and that he is the man she loves.

This moment in the courtroom was supposed to be dramatic, I suppose. Viewers already know about the affair, but apparently no one in the courtroom did. How did the police and the district attorney investigate this crime and never learn about the affair between Craig and Myra? And wouldn’t a love affair provide the perfect motive for both Craig Carlson and Myra Leeds? I wondered about both these points, but apparently no one in the courtroom did. And the screenwriters never addressed them. Somehow, Myra Leeds is found not guilty of murder.

After the verdict, Lou Kazarian wants to talk privately with Craig Carlson about Joe Leeds. Viewers learn that Lou never mailed the letter that Joe had given him before he was killed. Lou had forgotten all about it and didn’t find it until after the murder trial was over. He never noticed before that the letter is addressed to Craig Carlson, and he is anxious to deliver it now in person.

This letter turns the story around. Joe acknowledges that his marriage was loveless. He describes Myra in one of my favorite quotes from the film: “She isn’t a woman. Myra’s a disease.” Craig Carlson now learns a lot about Myra, details that he should have learned during the murder trial if he, the police, and the district attorney had been more thorough. Myra Leeds was never in love with her husband Joe or with Craig Carlson. Her first and only love is Carl Holt, a starving artist who could never hope to give Myra the life that she has always wanted. She decided long ago that she was going to get it for both of them herself, in her own way.

Craig Carlson decides to beat Myra at her own game. But he doesn’t plan murder or fraud; he insinuates himself into her life and into Carl Holt’s. Before too long, Myra has to worry about Lou’s letter and whether Craig will hand it over to Carl. Then there is the case file that Craig has started on her while he is digging up more evidence. The plot turns into a cat-and-mouse game that is a lot of fun to watch. And the title, believe it or not, doesn’t give all that much away.

Please Murder Me may be a B movie with a low budget and minimalist sets, but it has a great plot that really picks up after the courtroom drama, especially with the arrival of Joe Leeds’s letter. Both Raymond Burr and Angela Lansbury seem cast against type, Burr because he is a lawyer instead of a criminal, which was his usual role in film noir, and Lansbury because she is the femme fatale used to getting her way instead of the mystery writer from Murder She Wrote. The two of them make the film so much more enjoyable because they give so much to their roles. Another actor to watch for is Denver Pyle as Detective Lieutenant Bradley. If you are used to seeing him in supporting roles in 1960s sitcoms, his role here will come as a pleasant surprise.

And I could swear this film has a connection to The Dick Van Dyke Show. Carl Holt’s artist loft reminded me of similar artist lofts in a couple of episodes used in The Dick Van Dyke Show. I am thinking in particular of “October Eve” in season 3 and “Draw Me a Pear” in season 5. A little redecorating, new camera angles, more expensive film stock—and voilà! It may be my own simple nostalgia for The Dick Van Dyke Show that makes the connection, but it adds a little more fun to the viewing experience for me.

March 1956 release date  •  Directed by Peter Godfrey  •  Screenplay by Al C. Ward, Donald Hyde  •  Based on a story by Ewald André Dupont, David T. Chantler  •  Music by Albert Glasser  •  Edited by Kenneth G. Crane  •  Cinematography by Alan Stensvold

Angela Lansbury as Myra Leeds  •  Raymond Burr as Craig Carlson  •  Dick Foran as Joe Leeds  •  John Dehner as District Attorney Ray Willis  •  Lamont Johnson as Carl Holt  •  Robert Griffin as Lou Kazarian  •  Denver Pyle as Detective Lieutenant Bradley  •  Alex Sharp as the police sergeant  •  Lee Miller as the patrol officer  •  Russ Thorson as the judge

Distributed by Distributors Corporation of America  •  Produced by Gross-Krasne, Inc.